Why Is Prayer So Hard Sometimes?
Everyday Mysticism: Encountering God, or Misfiring, in Ordinary Life
Nov 13, 2026 · Michael J. Cunningham
Why prayer feels hard
Prayer is not mainly hard because of effort. It is hard because of attention. God is already present; what we struggle with is noticing.
The numbers suggest many people feel they are failing at prayer. Daily prayer among U.S. adults fell from 58% in 2007 to 44% in 2023–24 (Pew Research). In a survey of more than 14,000 committed Christians, only 2% were very satisfied with their prayer lives, and distraction was the biggest obstacle they named (Crossway).
Many of those who feel they are failing may already be praying, while folding laundry, sitting with a friend, or catching the light on the hills. They just don’t count it. Everyday mysticism starts here: helping people recognize, name, and respond to the encounters with God that are already happening.
The premise: every encounter is spiritual
Every encounter is spiritual, but not every encounter is prayer. The encounter is God’s offer. Prayer is the offer received and answered.
If prayer is an experience of God, and God is love (1 John 4:8), then every real moment of love, compassion, or empathy is a meeting with God, whether or not we call it prayer. The same holds for the moments we miss. Looking past someone in need is also a spiritual event, just one where we turned away.
So the question isn’t whether God is present in an ordinary moment. The question is whether we noticed, and how we responded.
Sacred Noticing: the practice of the encounter
Sacred Noticing is how everyday mysticism happens in real time: Notice, Pause, Respond. The trace from the encounter is left in the Respond, not in the run-up.
- A “yellow light” appears: a small, ordinary moment that invites us in. We can miss it, react to it, or notice it.
- We make room. The Pause is receptivity and permission, not suppression: room for God to move before we act.
- The encounter crosses from inside us into the world. We respond with kindness, justice, even love.
Noticing and pausing are necessary, but they stay inside us. The response leaves our spiritual footprint. Francis was not remembered for what he felt when he saw the leper. He was remembered for getting off his horse.
The three outcomes of an encounter
Every encounter can end in one of three ways: Alignment, Dialogue, or Misalignment. Alignment means our response lines up with what God is offering in the moment: “thy will be done,” lived out in small things. God is always speaking, so the question is: how’s the conversation going?
| Outcome |
What happens |
In the footprint |
The question |
| Alignment |
The encounter is noticed, received, and answered with love. It becomes prayer, whether or not we call it that. |
A mark of love or caring left on someone else |
Did it land? |
| Dialogue |
The encounter is still open: a question, a discomfort, a nudge. Neither Alignment nor Misalignment yet. |
Still being written |
Is it still speaking? |
| Misalignment |
The encounter is missed or turned from: distraction, defensiveness, haste, or sometimes a plain “no.” Still spiritual, but not prayer. |
A mark of absence or harm |
Did I miss it? |
“Misalignment” names what happens most often. Usually it is not a refusal, just a moment when our attention or our response drifted out of line with what God might have been offering. A misalignment is not the end of the relationship. It can be set right, though sometimes, not easily.
Matthew 25 holds both ends: “you did it to me” and “you did not do it to me” are both encounters with Christ. Only one is prayer.
Crossing the bridge again
The outcome is not always settled in the moment. A Misalignment or an open Dialogue can come into Alignment later, when we go back across the bridge.
The argument we regret, brought back in an evening review or in silence, can turn into sorrow, understanding, or a different response next time. What began as non-prayer becomes prayer. That is where grace works: we give the response, but God isn’t limited to our first one.
So Sacred Noticing has two jobs. In real time, it helps us respond in Alignment more often. Looking back, it helps us bring Misalignment and Dialogue into Alignment after the fact. This is healing, not just forgiveness: the spiritual trace of our footprint is changed, not just excused.
Roots in the tradition
Everyday mysticism is not new. Sacred Noticing gives an old intuition a practical shape.
- Augustine: our hearts are restless until they rest in God. The longing is never the problem; we lack a way to read it.
- Francis and Bonaventure: creation is full of God’s footprints. The Canticle of the Creatures is a noticing practice set to song. In his Testament, Francis says what seemed bitter turned sweet only after he acted.
- Ignatius: finding God in all things, and the Examen as a daily look back.
- De Caussade: the sacrament of the present moment.
- Evagrius: nepsis, watchfulness, as the patristic name for the Notice.
- Keating: the fruits of contemplative prayer show up in daily life, not in the prayer period. Silence trains the eye that notices; noticing carries the silence into the street.
Living it: two simple practices
In the moment. When a yellow light appears, Notice and Pause, then ask one question before you Respond: What is this moment asking of me?
At day’s end. Recall two or three encounters from the day. For each, ask:
- Did it land? (Alignment) Give thanks.
- Is it still speaking? (Dialogue) Stay with it. What is the next step?
- Did I miss it? (Misalignment) Bring it back without judgment. What would a different response look like, and is there still time to make it?
An everyday mystic isn’t someone who feels God more often. It’s someone who notices, pauses, and responds more often, and keeps going back across the bridge.
Copyright 2026 Michael J. Cunningham OFS
Reflection derived from The Practice of Sacred Noticing: Transforming Your Spiritual Footprint.
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