Engage, Enrage then divide … Repeat … Living in a judgmental world 

Do you ever wake in the morning and then just think the way I handled that was just too judgmental? Yes, I probably could have heard that person’s perspective a little longer, instead of reacting straight away. Why is it that some people just seem to set me off and then cause me to put them into a category that I am just waiting for others to join? Until, one day, there are just too many people in this category and maybe it’s me not them. 

Today, when we are bombarded with messages from politicians, the media, and others try to get us engaged, enraged, and then divided neatly into activated piles of pre-judged characters or characteristics; this is how the world seems to operate. It’s an exhausting scene, where we are continually bombarded with the need to judge, or even worse, pre-judge others. Engage, enrage and divide! 

Soon, we become walking zombies looking for like-minded groups who will join our clan of opinions; carefully wearing the same outfits so we can be easily identified by those we want to attract, and those we don’t. So, they don’t come near us. Threatening us with dialog, conversation or God forbid, understanding and compassion. No, I would rather engage, enrage, and divide! 

OK, so I am exaggerating a little, but not by much. Many have come to understand our personal judgmentalism (yes, that’s a real word) as both a weapon and a part of our identity. But it’s not as simple as that. This exhaustion can cause, in extreme cases, us to reflect that we are being too judgmental, and the problem is me and not all the others. This self-reflection is, of course, a healthy practice. If we think we are being too judgmental about many things, our mind and thoughts will continue to reinforce our desire to “reject” others and our thinking about a particular group instantly leaps to “keep them out of my life” and my thoughts are overwhelmed by my dislikes. Dwelling on dislikes tends to create a personal wake (like a wave) for those around you. They become washed over by these predispositions and dislikes to the point that the forward water in our lives, (that is the part ahead of the wake), is going to be driven by the same thought process. While this strategy can cause us to find like-minded individuals who agree with us almost instantly, it reinforces behavior that is not helpful. We become divided quickly and semi-permanently from others. It is not where we want to be. 

Our personal wake or spiritual footprint is left all over the place, rather like a muddy pair of boots after walking the farmyard. We are spreading our message about where we are coming from, but not in a good way. 

So, what is the alternative? Well, the first point is to change the first word in the process here, engagement. As soon as we become engaged we can become activated, and then once activated we start moving along a process of engagement and a disposition of agreement with ourselves or others. This leads us to enragement, the second step. So, some interference is required during the engagement process. Instead of activation, we need to begin to listen, to reflect, to discern BEFORE we move to that rapid conclusion that this is a problem. Moving to dialog could even become a possibility. Humor intended. 

Our current, and past of course, world affairs discourses are a perfect example of how this process works. Bringing others into the relevant tribe is the goal, but the method is often very unappealing and lacks any intention of dialog, listening or understanding before a conclusion is reached. The goal is to reach a conclusion as rapidly as possible with as few stops along the way. Then reinforce it to as many others as possible. It is not a pretty sight. 

Perhaps the most important benefit from this reflection is the recognition that this is a situation that has become more prevalent because we are being encouraged to sidestep the peace-filling gifts of empathy, compassion and understanding before we get to use them. Engagement, in social media in particular, is designed to get to the next click, the next movement, the next step and keep the “eyeballs” and attention on the prize, whatever that prize is. A new product, an opinion, weight loss, better health. You name the prize. 

These wonderful gifts are being deliberately removed from the table and replaced with simple, sometimes vilifying options for us to choose from. So, we move from the concept of research and discernment from a variety of viewpoints, to a deliberate and firm position which many others have already reached. You are now a part of that “club”. Without even realizing that a “club” has been used on you to get you to this place. 

AI is yet another tool that can either help or hinder the engage, enrage and divide world we live in. It can be used for good, where AI will distill the results of a question, we may have into useful cliff notes to help us decide the next steps. Or it can be used to inform us of yet another conspiracy theory, depending on the information sources used to inform that Mr. or Ms. AI are distilling opinions and results for your consumption. 

The antidote to all this madness is the principles of mindfulness and contemplation. Both practices rely on us collating and gathering information calmly and neutrally. A world where conclusions are far away from the starting gate. Then, as the information flows towards us, we become guided by this flow, picking the pathways through reflection and discernment, unrushed and unhurried by the need to be at the destination in a few microseconds.

Such is the practice in Centering Prayer, where our agendas and predefined expectations are left in the parking lot, and perhaps even, we have happily forgotten where we parked the car. 

Here, we are left alone with God to guide us. To reach that place within where those noises are not heard or felt. Where we and the most beloved are just engaged with each other. Where we rest in each other without expectations. 

Copyright Reflection, Poem and Image 2024 Michael J. Cunningham OFS 

I can see you

I can see you

Hiding that thing you want from me

That desire to tell me what to think

What to say

What to do 

I can see you

A member of the clan that’s not me

I can see you

But an enemy in disguise

Pretending to know me by kind words

Hiding in sheep’s clothing

I can see you

I can see you

Your message is clear to me

You have taken God and painted him in your own colors

Without asking me first

What colors I like

I can see you

I can see you

The mask and show of yourself

The projection to the world

Of what you are trying to do

Of who you are trying to influence 

I can see you

I can see you

But now you are infecting me

With your desire to control

So my desire is to reject

You and all your wares

I can see you,

But I can’t see me clearly anymore 

Because I see you