From Church Bulletins around the country:

From Church Bulletins around the country:

“The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.”
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“Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled Proceeds will be used to cripple children.”
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“The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water. ‘The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’ ”
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“Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.”

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“Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.”
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“Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.”
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“For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.”
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“Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.”
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“At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.”
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“Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.”
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“Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.”
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“The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.”

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“This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.”
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“Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.”

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“The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.”

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“Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.”
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